When things become so dark and claustrophobic that you cannot find the way out, sometimes it is a good idea to just “chill”.  You will never make the correct decision every time.   But this is generally not a hanging offense.  Relax and give yourself a break.  We become such perfectionists that we just don’t allow ourselves any leeway.  What purpose does that level of perfection serve?  The important thing is “the important things”. Don’t worry about the minutia.  It will take care of itself.  And procrastination sometimes helps a lot.   I remember a dear friend who used to say, “If you wait long enough most of what you felt you simply MUST get done by a certain date just goes away by itself.”  And he was right, though he probably missed a lot of deadlines and family birthday parties.

Though this is meant to make you smile, sometimes the morass of problems is much too serious to smile about.  Even then, time will take care of most of it. Simply dividing tasks into chunks that you can handle little by little, takes some of the pressure away.  It is much easier to write some checks now, and save others for later, if the money for paying everything is simply not there.  Clean part of your desk, don’t aim for all of it.  Sort files, by drawer, not by file cabinet.  Does anyone still use file cabinets?  It is time to think about a paperless office. This could change your life for the better.

In any case, stop worrying about making wrong decisions.  Just do the best you can.  Try to keep up with paper on your desk. Deposit checks on time, and pay your bills.  Set a little aside even from yourself.  When was the last time you took those jars full of change to be counted at a bank.  You could buy yourself something nice, or go out to a fine restaurant with that money. The best anyone can do is their personal best.  And in doing so they have nothing to feel inadequate about.  You can do this every day of your life.  You will gain a sense of accomplishment which leads to happiness and contentment. Enjoy your life because this is the only one you will have (that we know of).

He said: Children under ten and women over seventy give the best interviews for the identical reason: they speak the plain unvarnished truth.”  That quote sums up my career these days. And that is still true today.  However, I am “ahead of the curve” (Pun intended) on that score. I am not 70 yet. I am already telling the plain unvarnished truth.  It just drives people crazy, too.
People really do not want to hear the truth, much of the time.  Especially people who have put all of their hopes in a politician or a political party.  They can become irrational and furious.  Or sometimes people who have put all of their hopes and dreams in a man or a woman or a parent or a friend simply lose their cool when they are disappointed by that person.  But women over 70 recognize that we are all human.  We will ALL disappoint someone we love sometime.  What is important is a person’s sense of values. Are we inherently good or bad people?

Over time will that political party or that person repeat the offense again and again?  If he answer is yes. Then it is time to cut and run.  Save yourself.  Do not allow yourself to be a victim repeatedly.

This also, you can discover by asking an older woman.  A truth-telling woman who will let you know how it is.   The plain unvarnished truth is exactly what I am telling, both as a writer, as a health and wellness coach and as a speaker. My book Ahead of the Curve is small and dense, but invariably honest.  Some people have asked how I dared to write so honestly.  I have said; I must speak my truth.

So glad so many of you are reading this book. Order it for a friend, or family member who is struggling with feelings of fear or uncertainty about growing older. I guarantee it will make them feel more cheerful and optimistic!

Be sure to click on  Ahead of the Curve right here. You will have fun reading this romp through the transition period from angst to wisdom.

Well, it is finally ready to order. I am proud to announce that Ahead of the Curve is now available. Order it from Amazon.com or Barnesandnoble.com.  Or you can simply go to Ahead of the Curve. It has been such a long journey for a small book.  Yet the wisdom I acquired along the way is priceless to me, and I try to give it to you as fast as I acquire it.

My passion for giving women (and men) the tools to allow them to think for themselves, to change their lives for the better, to step over the traces and live their dreams even after the half century mark, has driven me for years. Now I have the “hard copy” and it is a beginning. Much more will follow, I promise you. Click here Ahead of the Curve to order.

First of all the doctor is the head of the oncological surgery department at the hospital.  No one likes going to that department.  And if there is no cancer, then it seems even worse.  The doctor was very nice, obviously smart and totally conventional. She wanted to do a total hysterectomy.  She told me that she would make an incision under my breast bone and around my navel and perhaps on down to my pubic bone.  Inside, I was saying “no you won’t”.
She told me that no woman at my age needed a uterus or ovaries. (I do not believe this)  She told me she could not guarantee to save my other ovary or my uterus if she operated. I told her I would be back for surery in two weeks.  But in my heart I knew I would not be back. I already knew of another doctor who does gynocological surgery laparascopically.  That appealed to me more than being cut open from stem to stern.  I still wanted to keep my other ovary and uterus.

The new doctor works with The Women’s Surgery Center. First I saw one doctor who measured my cyst and found it even larger than we had thought. Aproximately 40cm by 21 cm by 20 cm. He said he believed that his friend the chief surgeon would still be able to take it out laparascopically. he told me the man was the “Tiger Woods” of surgeons.  I hoped he was right.  We discussed saving my other ovary and uterus. The doctor said “No woman over sixty needs to have this equipment”. ( I think they must say this a lot to women.)  I argued that I wanted to keep my female bits.  He said I should tell that to the surgeon. He said you will have to fight for them. (He was right)

I went to see the surgeon. He said “Yes I can take this out laparscopically.”  And then he said “No woman over sixty needs her uterus or ovaries.” (Can’t these people say anything original?) I argued that I wanted to keep my working parts. I do not have cancer.  My other ovary and my uterus are fine.  It is not part of my image of myself to have my body parts deleted unnecessarily.

We discussed pros and cons for a while and finally I left there with the distinct impression that he would agree to keep my healthy body parts unless he found something wrong with their pathology report. The fact that the incisions would be minmal was very good news.  I was a bit nervous but agreed to let him operate. I wrote his partner to reiterate my desire to keep myself intact and gave him the reasons why.  He said he would speak to the surgeon on my behalf.

We scheduled the surgery. I did all I was supposed to do, including the dreaded “bowel prep”. I spent the night with my mother so I would be closer to the hospital. My daughter went with me as my advocate. I was calm. They took me back to prepare me.  My blood pressure was 117 over 70 (or maybe it was 60) I was really in a “zone” not planning to worry or resist.  Then the doctor arrived after I was all ready to go.  His first words were.  “Have you gotten over that idea of keeping your uterus and other ovary?” I could not believe my ears.

What? Had that man not heard a word I said?  He told me that he would have to answer to a peer review board if anything went wrong. He told me that they would fire him for not taking out the other ovary.  He said they would say “You mean you did not take out the other ovary of a woman over sixty?” I realized that he was much more worried about what they would say than any feelings I might have.  We talked back and forth for a long time.  He gave me a lot of his attention. He was calm and polite. But he was firm. So was I. Finally he said, “I don’t feel comfortable operating on you today. I don’t think you have the proper attitude for this surgery.  You are not emotionally prepared for surgery of this type.” At first I argued. But the truth was I was unbelievably relieved.  I just could not believe I had come that close and then been told he would not do it.  It seemed a terrible waste of a “bowel prep”.  And so many of my family had been inconvenienced by my decision to do this.  As a woman, my first thougth was of my children and my mother who had all gone out of their way for me.  I knew they would be disapointed because they were worried about me.

But I was free. They unhooked the IV in my hand, and I got dressed and drove myself out of there.  Freedom!!! I have rarely EVER felt so good! It would have been horrible to wake up and find out I had had a total hysterectomy.  I would have been devistated.  The doctor was right about my lack of readiness.

But now I am determined to find alternative means for reducing the cyst. I am willing to do whatever it takes to shrink it.  Changing my lifesyle, changing my eating habits, taking herbs, seeing an acupuncturist, a BEST practioner, a nutritionist and any other person who can help me redistribute the parts of this cyst and shrink the size of it. I shall spend the entire summer working to do this. It is exciting.  And I am energized and happy.